Being a father now-a-days is more
fulfilling and rewarding, yet busier than ever. I am
not trying to sound like a masculinist,
but there is sort of a double standard set upon on us present-day fathers,
not only by our nurturing wives and baby-Mommas, but by society in
general. At least here in San Diego’s
progressive society. Think about what is
expected of you as a husband and father,
and what is put on your plate daily.
Most of us are working full time, and the minute we clock out, we
immediately are taking over duties as primary parent, if not volunteering at
their schools, or assisting as coaches, helping with homework, not to mention grinding
through at least half the load of household chores. ‘Stay-at-home-Mom’
– what’s that? Many of us have a
(equally busy) wife who also works at least part time, just to be able to
afford to live in beautiful San Diego and provide our families the lifestyle it
offers. What’s more, no San Diego mom I
know of is willing to be content just tending to the home and kids. Mothers these days have yoga classes,
extensive social groups, hobbies, and a serious list of personal goals! We
Dads pick up the domestic slack by donning every hat in the household often with zero appreciation in return because
it is what is expected of us. It’s
considered our duty and even a privilege.
Don’t misunderstand me. There are few things as rewarding in life as
spending quality time with our children, and most of us desire to be more
involved and hands-on, if given a choice.
But all this means time for Dad is pushed to the bottom of the honey-do list and is often considered
low priority by spouses and bosses alike.
Just finding time to go for a run, or go to the gym can not only be near
impossible, but can be wrongfully perceived as selfish, or putting
ourselves before our family. Any opportunity
for continued personal growth and self-mastery? – Well sorry, but that is a
luxury that we left behind the moment we had to put together the crib for baby
#1. Or so it might seem.
The truth is, while you might have
to pause for a decade or so at becoming an expert at mastering you, nothing makes us grow and mature
more than fatherhood. Perhaps there is
no greater opportunity to love another human being, more than fatherhood. If you are blessed with children, know that the
collective experience of raising a family leaves us wiser and more evolved
during life’s journey. Leading a family and household is as great
a challenge as any corporate C.E.O. will face, and what used to be the sole home-making domain of the mother is now
equally shared with us fathers. Like it
or not, we have become fully domesticated.
But back to finding time to still workout…
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| Max with daughters Bryce Ava and Summer, Honolua Bay, Maui, October 2013. |
